


On my own

by ionica01



Series: Family- Fairy Tail edition. [3]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, Gruvia - Freeform, Nightmare, and a ray of hope, dream - Freeform, pitch darkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 07:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11550066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionica01/pseuds/ionica01
Summary: Gray finds himself in the pitch darkness of an unknown place, where he has to withstand seeing all of the light he had in his life slowly die out yet again, the hand of all he loved escaping his grasp for the second time. It's a strange woman that abuses of the world "love" that comes to his rescue...





	1. Stuck in a cage

**Author's Note:**

> "Bring me out  
> Come and find me in the dark now  
> Everyday by myself I'm breaking down  
> I don't wanna fight alone anymore."  
> -On my own by Ashes Remain

"Huh? Where am I?" Gray wondered, squirming around in what seemed like pitch darkness. He was all alone with no memory of where he was or how he managed to get there. He turned around several times and even tried taking some steps, but it was all in vain: everything was swallowed by the darkness. For an unknown reason, he felt his heart throbbing in pain, as if he had lost something of utmost importance.   


He glimpsed at himself and realised that his hands were smaller than usual, bearing scars and dried blood. He was fully dressed up, too, which only served to add to the weirdness of the situation. Moreover, a warm liquid was rolling down his face, blurring his view. He blinked rapidly, rubbing his eyes only to find his hands wet with... Tears. 

Staring before him once more, Gray saw it: through the obscurity, a memory made its way. A faint grey light surrounded the image of Deliora, his dead parents and his useless self back then. He now knew that his dad was actually alive and that he'll die much later on, but a scream escaped his hoarse throat nonetheless and he felt his knees weaken, as if they were made out of wool and not flesh and bones, before he fell on his knees. He remember how he cowered in fear back then, how he was unable to fight back or help his injured family as he only crouched down in shock and despair. Just as he moved his hand over to hug his mom's cold body one last time, everything reentered the darkness, leaving him all alone. This time, he made no attempt to move, instead hugging his knees and letting the tears flow freely.    
  


***

It wasn't long after that a light appeared, shining in the pit of despair: Ur's features, as warm as ever, took life before him as she offered him her hand. Next to her, a small Lyon also caught life, laughing mockingly.

Still shaking from the shock, Gray reached out for Ur's hand and grabbed it, but he didn’t grasp it with the force he should have. He spent happy moments with the two of them, leaving the darkness behind, positive that he would never return.

However, good things never last for long enough: Deliora appeared again and he acted recklessly, making Ur jump in to save him. Before his eyes, Ur sacrificed her life for a second time, vanishing into thin water. He felt her hand escaping his, drifting away as she smiled ever so gently, gone forever.    
  


***

Needless to say, Gray cowered in the darkness, accepting it freely for a second time. Somewhere in the distance, he could see images of the guild before his eyes, but they were somewhat distant: people chatting, telling him things. Talking without speaking.  He responded without getting emotionally involved, his eyes blank as he felt the void in his soul eating away at what was left human in himself. 

Occasionally, people like Natsu, Erza or sometimes Cana would adventure into the darkness, dragging him closer to the light; slowly, the image of the guild members became more prominent as he got closer, but he always feared stepping into the light. Risking to lose this little place of comfort was too hasty and Gray prefered taking strolls in the light together with Erza or Natsu before returning quickly to his safe spot, embracing the dim light space that was now like a home. He had learned to live with it, to communicate with the darkness that flew through him as well, as they were now as one.

In time, his adventures outside the black hole became longer as his eyes grew more accustomed to the light and his heart to the happiness, but the void was never filled. Not even with the warm atmosphere of the guild could Gray find something to protect. Sure, he didn't want to return to despair so he fought, but it was more out of selfishness than anything else.

And then one day, a ray of light so pure and colorful walked right in his life and clung to him, illuminating everything else: a blue-haired beauty with inquisitive eyes who knew nothing about him. 

At first, the man shrugged it off as if it was annoying: why would anyone cling to such an icy person? But as she stubbornly stuck with him, he started seeing things differently too: colors to contrast the black hole he hid in; emotions that he had never bothered to understand before; happiness in small things. She stood at his side patiently, explaining everything through sheer smiles and simple words. She abused of the word 'love' and directed it to the confused ice mage, but he didn’t dislike that. 

Somewhere deep down, something started to mend: he slowly started understanding the friendship his guildmates were talking about and he acknowledged them as friends. He visited the black hole only once in a while now, and each time he did, he only reluctantly stepped in. His friendship with the darkness was becoming colder.   
  


***

  
All of a sudden, his colorful world turned grey once again as the man witnessed Juvia nearly getting killed in front of him. As if in slow motion, he moved in between her and the obstacle, determined not lose anything important ever again.

  
Darkness once again. Was he dead now? He stared at the material body as the face of Urtear surfaced before him and the salty liquid uncontrollably erupted from his eyes yet again. He was unable to cope with the situation at hand. He had sworn to protect everyone and yet…

  
"Don't cry." A woman next to him whispered, crouching to his level and offering him support. Like an idiot, he ignored her, dwelling in despair, digging his own grave. But she never left. She stayed there and wiped his tears away, listened to his sobs, hugged him tightly. And day by day, the darkness shrunk until it disappeared.

  
When he finally looked up at her, she was surrounded by light and smiling. He was so afraid to lose her too, he didn't want to take her hand. To his surprise, however, she took his and told him such simple, yet powerful words:

"You should smile. For her, too."   
  


***

  
The good times always flow by the quickest and for one last time, Gray saw the face of someone he loved, ready to die: his father. But now he knew what he had to do: grabbing Juvia's hand, he entered the darkness and destroyed it. He could do it if he wasn't alone.   
  


***

  
So if he did manage to wipe the blackness off the face of the earth, why was he there again, this time alone? Why was she standing in front of him, smiling sadly? Why?! No! He couldn't, he  _ refused  _ to lose her as well. She was the only one he could never let go of, because then he'd break. She kept him together!

"Juvia." 

He couldn't even muster a whisper, just a mutter. It's only the people we truly love that we don’t have the power to scream after. And this time there weren't tears, just a void of emotions as the light faded and he sunk in darkness, not even trying to fight against it. Her hand escaped his grip, no matter how tight it was. 

And everything was to save him! He looked at his miserable body and wished to find it in himself to join Juvia in the light, but he couldn't waste the life she gave him. Clutching his heart, he succumbed to fate, felling the pit in his stomach and his shattered heart taking over his feelings and soul. 

Pitch darkness... And no one to save him this time.   
  


***

  
"Guh!" Gray panted heavily as his eyelids split open and his hands roamed around the sheets in search for her. He looked down to find his wife nestled into his chest, sleeping peacefully, their two children exhaling periodically in their cribs. The dark-haired man let out a sigh, his trembling hands tightening around Juvia's back as he buried his face in her hair and inhaled the familiar smell, trying to calm down. Thank Goodness it was only a nightmare. Or rather, a memory. He closed his eyes, envisioning what he had just remembered.

He wanted to turn back in time and tell his child self to keep the tears in for moments that would count, to assure his desperate self that there would be one person that will stand by his side through thick and thin, someone that will be able to ease the burden he had been carrying and to fill the void. That he would be able to cling to the one he loved the most, that she'll never leave him. He wanted to appear in front of his child self and hug him, only to tell him that he has to survive just to meet Juvia, and then she'll become his will to live.

He watched his wife inhale peacefully, overcome by the feeling of love for her. He had never before felt the need to hug her and protect her so badly that he'd want to make her his, to live with her forever. She who had taught him the ways of life was to be cherished forever. And so were their children, his family. The family  _ she _ gave him. He pecked her cheek, careful not to wake her up and whispered:

“I love you.”


	2. I surrender my soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juvia's reasons behind falling for Gray and escaping her eternal rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every little thing that I've known  
> Is every thing I need to let go  
> You're so much bigger than the world I have made  
> So I surrender my soul  
> I'm reaching out for your hope
> 
> On my own-Ashes remain.

Eternal rain. Always caught up in a storm. Ever since she was little, Juvia had to deal with the consequences of being a 'rainwoman', as the villagers called her. 

She never stuck in a single place for too long: she'd always receive the same treatment. People blamed her for the horrible weather, only adding to her sadness and thus the intensity of the storm. At some point, the woman stopped trying to get along with people as she could no longer find any energy or motivation within herself to talk to others. Something within her was broken and she could no longer tell everything she was harboring inside.   


***

Caught in her eternal rain, Juvia was indifferent when asked to join the guild, aware of the fact that they'd only want her powers and would play her in their hands. However, the comfort of having a roof to rest under was enough to make her join, despite it being a dark guild.   


But even there, Juvia did never think she was part of a "family". She was still isolated, caught in the storm of her own feelings and sadness. She did go on missions from time to time and was admired as one of the most powerful mages in Phantom Lord, but that didn't make her feel any better: everything that was going on before her eyes felt like in a haze, distant and surreal.   
  


***

When asked to fight against Fairy Tail, she agreed just like a doll, dutifully fulfilling her job. She went out to meet whatever was coming her way, her rain surrounding her as always. 

And that's when she met him. A guy that, she could tell, was just like her: surrounded by ice, his heart almost frozen just like hers was always damp. She could tell he had the resolve to fight to death to protect the tiny place that gave him the bit of happiness he had and she envied him for that. She wanted to find it, too: a place she could fight for. She could see through it, through him, through the ice that was covering his heart and she found a small part, one that wasn't yet rotten. Some warmth that became his strength and will to live. 

Not wanting to steal this man's comfort, she walked away, giving him a chance. Unlike him, Juvia knew she was beyond saving, forever caught in her rain, dripping wet to the core. However, he insisted on fighting her, he insisted on having a showdown and so she turned around to face his fierce eyes. 

For the first time, the blue-haired woman could feel someone looking through the droplets of water to see  _ her _ . Not her rainwoman self, but Juvia. And she could see the stoic man piercing through her soul in search for a place that wasn't caught up in the storm.

That's when she felt her knees melt and her heart warm up with an unknown feeling. A flutter in her chest told her that she didn't want to fight this man, that she instead wanted to be around him longer. For the first time ever, Juvia found something to live for, someone to understand her, someone to protect. It was a rash decision, but there was no doubt it was the right one. Enemy or foe, the love she felt couldn't be denied.

  
However, the water mage soon remembered her condition and the improbability of being loved back. She knew no one could love a person that was living in the rain, a person so secluded and wrecked that she was beyond saving.   
A curtain of rain covered Juvia's surroundings and her eyes as she felt her tears bloom and extended her hand to the outside, in hope of getting out. Not little was her surprise when she felt a sturdier hand catch hers and pulled her out of the storm, saving her both literally and metaphorically.   


***

The place Juvia was dragged into was by no doubts a guild, yet its appearance couldn't be any different from Phantom Lord's. There were people smiling brightly at her, wounded yet happy and laughing. The sun was shining upon all of them and they were all extending their hands to her, asking her questions about her own life. Juvia blinked incredulously, shaking her head as to wake herself up.   


"Welcome home." The man who was holding her hand smiled, communicating his inner thoughts: he accepted her. He enjoyed her presence. For unknown reasons, he found himself in her debt. 

Juvia glanced down at his hand and back at the rain and took one step closer to his bare chest, tightening her grip on his hand: she wasn't about to let go. No matter the depths of hell he would step into, she'd follow gladly. That was Juvia's resolve.   


***  
The woman rolled around in bed, rubbing her eyes. The dream, or rather memory, she just had was the trigger of what surrounded her now: their house, their things, their two kids. And him, sleeping soundly, one hand holding hers tightly. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Juvia perspective!  
> I hope you guys enjoyed! I always love writing Gruvia!  
> As always, kudos and comments are much beloved!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> This is honestly my favourite work from the whole Fairy Tail collection I wrote, the one I resonate with the most (partially because of how I find myself in Gray's shoes more times than not) and the one work I reread most often. Hope you also enjoyed it:)  
> As always, I warmly welcome comments and kudos!


End file.
